1
00:00:13,989 --> 00:00:16,850
Whoa, I just, like, thought of
something, Beavis.

2
00:00:18,750 --> 00:00:22,210
Someday, every one of these is going to
be on a wiener.

3
00:00:22,710 --> 00:00:23,710
Oh, yeah.

4
00:00:26,250 --> 00:00:28,970
And then you know where it's going to be
after that.

5
00:00:35,890 --> 00:00:37,430
Whoa, check it out, butthead.

6
00:00:38,250 --> 00:00:39,410
What is this thing?

7
00:00:41,370 --> 00:00:44,470
Uh, I think it's a ride or something.

8
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:45,710
Oh, yeah.

9
00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:48,130
This is gonna be cool. Yeah.

10
00:00:51,190 --> 00:00:53,170
How come I'm not moving?

11
00:00:53,530 --> 00:00:57,290
Uh, you have to, like, start it first,
dumbass.

12
00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:00,320
This is gonna be cool.

13
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:02,900
Here we go.

14
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:10,260
Wait a second. I think it's starting to
hurt, but it's... Ow!

15
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:17,900
Ow! Make up your

16
00:01:17,900 --> 00:01:18,900
mind.

17
00:01:19,540 --> 00:01:22,240
Make up your mind.

18
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,800
I already made up my mind.

19
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,800
Fuck.

20
00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:29,760
Well, now come on, give it back.

21
00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:35,920
Whoa.

22
00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,260
Is that a body?

23
00:01:43,660 --> 00:01:45,560
Yeah, I think so.

24
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,680
You think they killed somebody just to
make this video?

25
00:01:50,700 --> 00:01:53,020
They should have killed the people who
made it.

26
00:01:57,390 --> 00:01:59,870
I wonder what that would be like, you
know, like, to die.

27
00:02:00,910 --> 00:02:03,770
Eh, well, you're gonna find out someday.

28
00:02:04,590 --> 00:02:05,730
Are you threatening me?

29
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,950
I will never die.

30
00:02:09,150 --> 00:02:13,170
No, I'm serious, Eva. It's like, you
know, you start to get all old and

31
00:02:15,190 --> 00:02:16,190
Yeah, really?

32
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,070
What else?

33
00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:23,190
I think you start, like, losing control
of your wee -wee.

34
00:02:25,370 --> 00:02:26,370
What else?

35
00:02:27,140 --> 00:02:32,720
Eh. Then you, like, start pooping a lot,
and you, like, lose the grip of your

36
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:33,720
butt.

37
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:37,680
Ah! I'm gonna die!

38
00:02:39,300 --> 00:02:40,300
Yeah.

39
00:02:41,260 --> 00:02:42,260
You're old.

40
00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:48,980
Oh, I mean, but what would you do, like,
if I died?

41
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,760
I'd probably, like, move over to the
middle of the couch.

42
00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:54,460
It's more comfortable.

43
00:02:56,130 --> 00:02:57,130
Oh, yeah, yeah.

44
00:03:03,410 --> 00:03:06,230
Damn it! You're just freaking me out!
Ow!

45
00:03:06,690 --> 00:03:08,530
You're squeezing my arm, buddy! Ow!

46
00:03:09,010 --> 00:03:11,950
Let go!

47
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,150
Get it off, buddy!

48
00:03:13,950 --> 00:03:15,770
Get it off. Get it off!

49
00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,370
Uh, what's playing?

50
00:03:20,610 --> 00:03:23,270
Uh... Emmer...

51
00:03:25,420 --> 00:03:28,240
E -M -E -R -G... Stop!

52
00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:29,739
What the fuck?

53
00:03:29,740 --> 00:03:31,440
Go get something to cut this thing off!

54
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,520
Ow!

55
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:38,400
Don't go anywhere, Beaver.

56
00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:40,700
I'll be back.

57
00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:42,240
Ow!

58
00:03:44,800 --> 00:03:45,800
Hi,

59
00:03:50,420 --> 00:03:52,260
would you like to try a slice of our
party pizza today?

60
00:03:52,820 --> 00:03:54,310
Uh... Is it free?

61
00:03:54,530 --> 00:03:55,670
Yeah, it's a free sample.

62
00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:57,090
Cool.

63
00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:58,750
Here you go.

64
00:03:59,270 --> 00:04:00,790
Is that all?

65
00:04:01,290 --> 00:04:02,510
What a ripoff.

66
00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:05,890
Are you going to make some more?

67
00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:09,890
Because I like pepperoni and stuff.

68
00:04:10,470 --> 00:04:12,090
And big slices, too.

69
00:04:25,230 --> 00:04:28,190
Hey, B, check it out, a diaper for old
people.

70
00:04:29,390 --> 00:04:34,850
Come on, butthead, get me out of here.

71
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,830
Some guy's going to take a dump in
these.

72
00:04:40,470 --> 00:04:46,170
Come on, butthead, help me.

73
00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:49,250
You look like a dork.

74
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,900
Hey, looking for a tool?

75
00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,700
Tool.

76
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:14,460
I need something sharp to, like, cut
something off.

77
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:17,220
You mean like a pair of scissors?

78
00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:18,880
Uh, no.

79
00:05:18,900 --> 00:05:20,700
Do you have, like, a chainsaw?

80
00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:24,840
Well, we don't have any of those, but we
have some of these small wood saws.

81
00:05:26,140 --> 00:05:27,420
Uh, okay.

82
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:29,280
I'll trade you for these diapers.

83
00:05:30,750 --> 00:05:31,970
You can poop in them.

84
00:05:33,590 --> 00:05:35,730
Okay, I'll just put these back for you.

85
00:05:37,130 --> 00:05:38,130
Okay, Beavis.

86
00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:39,429
Damn it!

87
00:05:39,430 --> 00:05:42,090
We're going to get you out of here.
Hurry up, buddy! Come on, I'm going to

88
00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:44,930
Hurry up! Hold still, Beavis. It's only
going to hurt for a second.

89
00:05:46,290 --> 00:05:47,290
Let's see.

90
00:05:47,870 --> 00:05:49,010
Ow! Ow!

91
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,370
Ow! Not my arm, buddy! Ow!

92
00:05:54,530 --> 00:05:55,530
Map.

93
00:05:58,840 --> 00:06:01,320
Remember that time that guy came into
Burger World because he was lost?

94
00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:06,420
And you, like, drew a map with, like,
ketchup and french fries and pickles?

95
00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:08,560
Oh, yeah.

96
00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:11,480
I was just making stuff up.

97
00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:16,860
You were like, okay, you see? You go
right down here, and then you turn left,

98
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:19,100
and then see this pickle? This is like a
big building.

99
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:20,500
Yeah.

100
00:06:20,840 --> 00:06:22,220
He believed me.

101
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,080
He was like, go on.

102
00:06:25,370 --> 00:06:26,089
Uh -huh.

103
00:06:26,090 --> 00:06:27,150
Okay. Mm -hmm.

104
00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:31,030
Hey,

105
00:06:31,610 --> 00:06:34,870
buddy, you know, like, sometimes when we
get rides home, and there's, like, a

106
00:06:34,870 --> 00:06:37,110
lot of dudes, and they're all stuffed in
the backseat like that?

107
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:38,330
Uh, yeah.

108
00:06:38,450 --> 00:06:40,530
Um, is it normal to get wood?

109
00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:43,730
Viva, you boner -popping pervert.

110
00:06:44,250 --> 00:06:45,910
It's not even normal to ask.

111
00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,810
Okay. Oh, okay.

112
00:06:49,930 --> 00:06:51,890
Whoa, is that a demolition derby?

113
00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:53,270
Uh, yeah.

114
00:06:53,670 --> 00:06:54,710
I think it is.

115
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,610
Demolition derby kicks ass.

116
00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:00,150
Yeah, yeah.

117
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:05,830
You know, I can't think of anything that
kicks as much ass as a demolition

118
00:07:05,830 --> 00:07:07,310
derby. Yeah.

119
00:07:07,870 --> 00:07:08,870
Yeah.

120
00:07:09,410 --> 00:07:12,710
Does your mom still go out to Sunset
Speedway and watch those?

121
00:07:13,050 --> 00:07:14,050
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

122
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,100
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

123
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,140
Sunset Speedway presents the Duke of
Dirt Derby.

124
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,380
The Barons of Bash, the Kings of Crash,
and the Sunset Derby Spectacular with

125
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:25,700
skills, thrills, and bone -crunching
bills.

126
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,240
See, it's my place for the whole thing,
but you'll only need the edge.

127
00:07:30,140 --> 00:07:32,360
Shut up, Beavis.

128
00:07:33,740 --> 00:07:35,840
Your voice is too high to do that.

129
00:07:36,120 --> 00:07:37,520
Sunday, Sunday, Sunday.

130
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:38,900
Shut up, Swaddle.

131
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000
Sunday,

132
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:41,620
Sunday, Sunday.

133
00:07:42,140 --> 00:07:44,020
You have a high voice, Beavis.

134
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:46,040
Shut up, butthead. I don't talk like
that.

135
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,240
Oh, no. I'm going to die.

136
00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:51,540
Whoa, whoa. Hey.

137
00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:52,840
Ow.

138
00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:54,880
Ow. Ow.

139
00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:56,419
Oh, thanks.

140
00:07:56,420 --> 00:07:57,420
You okay there, buddy?

141
00:07:57,780 --> 00:07:58,780
No.

142
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:03,240
You should stick your wiener in there,
Beaver. Oh, yeah.

143
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,960
Your blood pressure's dangerously high
for a boy your age.

144
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:08,500
Really? Cool.

145
00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:12,720
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. This ain't
joking around, okay? I want you to go

146
00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:13,720
doctor right away.

147
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,880
Now, in the meantime, I'm going to give
you some pills that should help your

148
00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:17,880
high blood pressure.

149
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:21,800
Now, it's very important that you avoid
any kind of stressful situation.

150
00:08:22,300 --> 00:08:27,840
Try to relax, maybe stay home, watch a
little TV. Give me the pill! Give me the

151
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:28,840
pill! Now!

152
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,419
Just get this open here.

153
00:08:37,179 --> 00:08:38,220
Damn it! Open!

154
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,179
Damn it! Son of a bitch! Open!

155
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,479
Funnel down.

156
00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:44,480
Butt munch? Shut up!

157
00:08:44,780 --> 00:08:46,580
Come on, open! Damn it, I'll kick your
ass!

158
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,260
No! No!

159
00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:54,380
I got it!

160
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:55,600
I got it!

161
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:03,160
Butt it! I think my arm's stuck! You
need to relax, baby.

162
00:09:14,250 --> 00:09:15,370
No, people on a couch.

163
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:16,610
Is this Friends?

164
00:09:18,250 --> 00:09:20,670
Uh, no, it's a video.

165
00:09:20,950 --> 00:09:24,550
It's like, whenever they want to show
that a band is just like, you know, a

166
00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:27,550
great bunch of guys, they make them all
crowd onto a couch.

167
00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:31,810
You know, that show Friends is stupid.

168
00:09:32,110 --> 00:09:36,690
It's like, they're always saying stupid
stuff, and, um, it's all intellectual

169
00:09:36,690 --> 00:09:37,690
and something.

170
00:09:38,890 --> 00:09:42,090
Dammit, Beavis, you're supposed to watch
that show with the sound down and just

171
00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:43,090
check out the chicks.

172
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:47,620
Yeah, but, um, I don't know, even the
chick, like, that one chick is way too

173
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:48,620
skinny.

174
00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,480
Her face looks like a scarecrow.

175
00:09:52,060 --> 00:09:54,960
Yeah, but her last name is Cox.

176
00:10:00,580 --> 00:10:01,580
You know,

177
00:10:01,820 --> 00:10:04,900
I think you're right, Butt -Head. I
think, um, there have been a lot of

178
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:08,480
you know, like with, um, where the whole
band, you know, is on a couch.

179
00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:10,160
Yeah.

180
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,520
You know, Butt -Head, um, Maybe you
should get rid of this couch and, you

181
00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:16,340
and get us some chairs to go sit in, you
know.

182
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:17,560
Change of pace.

183
00:10:18,180 --> 00:10:21,780
Hey, King Turd, go out and buy them
yourself if you don't like this couch.

184
00:10:23,460 --> 00:10:24,460
What did you call me?

185
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,920
I called you King Turd.

186
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,440
Because that's what you are.

187
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,960
That sounds kind of like a compliment,
but it...

188
00:10:34,010 --> 00:10:38,560
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